Haiku Movie Reviews

Note: I've stopped writing haiku movie reviews. Here are all the ones I did from roughly December 1999 to September 2000.

I got the idea of haiku movie reviews from Wunderland, which is a site with all sorts of fun stuff.

These are all reviews I wrote of movies I've seen lately. Most recently viewed are first on this list:

Sorted alphabetically:

All About My Mother

More accessible
funny Almodóvar film
with lots of women.

American Beauty

Bleak suburbs satire.
I found all the characters

American Psycho

Cold dark satire of
rich yuppies and serial
killing. Odd ending.

Being John Malkovich

Hilarious film
with Lovecraftian subtext:
body possession.

Chicken Run

Fun poultry action
flick with references to
World War II movies!

Chutney Popcorn

Funny indie film.
Lesbian Indian gets
pregnant for sister.


Dark moody bleak film;
cold amoral characters;
good if you like that.


Vaguely humorous.
Pretentious theology.
Disappointing film.

Drowning By Numbers

Lush slow art film has
absurd murders and a great
Michael Nyman score.

8 1/2 Women

Slow wacked Greenaway.
I like his early films that
have a Nyman score.

Erin Brockovich

Erin Brockovich:
smart, funny, caring, sexy,
and quite bad-tempered.

Fight Club

I love this dark film.
"You met me at a very
strange time in my life."

For a Few Dollars More

Not sure if I've seen
this classic western before;
I'm glad I did now.

Ghost Dog

Forest Whitaker
is cool urban samurai
in mafia film.


Three interwoven
plots have humor and suspense
and Sarah Polley!

Galaxy Quest

Any sf fan
will laugh out loud. Much better
than it needs to be.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Classic western with
Ennio Morricone's
most famous music.

The Green Mile

A rare prison film
with sympathetic guards and
heartwarming magic.


Photographer woos
and mentors younger women
until they leave him.


Blue and gray gloom worked
for me, as did Ethan Hawke's
melancholy Dane.

High Fidelity

John Cusack is great.
Romantic comedy with
good music geekdom.

Holy Smoke!

Kate and Harvey try,
but this risky script has a
fizzling second half.

The Hulk

Just like the comic
With lots of ethics in it :
Never kiss a frog

    (guest review by Ianik Wright-Larin)

Last Night

People spend their last
few hours in diverse ways as
we watch the world end.

Liberty Heights

Funny and poignant.
1950s Baltimore
as it might have been.

Lost in Translation

I think I know why
they were lost in translation:
they didn't play go.

    (from an idea by Ianik Wright-Larin)


Great ensemble cast.
Good, bleak, disturbing, and long.
Awesome storm at end.


Finally saw it.
Somewhat disappointing, it's
no Chasing Amy.

Mansfield Park

Jane Austen subplots
interleave with various
complex romances.

Me, Myself, and Irene

More Farrelly fun.
Laugh-out-loud stupidity,
weird slapstick Fight Club.

Naked Killer

Hong Kong action flick:
cops, gun fights, bad subtitles,
and assassin babes.

The Next Best Thing

Light film with yoga
turns into Kramer versus
Kramer dreariness.

Once Upon a Time in the West

Slower western with
great "Man with Harmonica"
at final showdown.


Interracial love,
starving artists work and play,
good lowkey drama.

Road Trip

Somewhat amusing
lowbrow college hijinks, but
Tom Green annoys me.

Run Lola Run

Spiffy visuals.
Compelling replay gimmick.
Excellent soundtrack.

The Sixth Sense

Bruce kicks ghost butt? No!
Insightful drama with twists!
"I see dead people."

Sleepy Hollow

Mediocre script
but you should see this for the
Burton visuals.


Romantic screwball
comedy about a girl
and her two boyfriends.

The Straight Story

G-rated Disney
heartwarming tear jerker with
David Lynch's style!

The Terrorist

Slow Indian film
girl on suicide mission
intense and unique


Shakespeare's bloodiest
revenge drama with modern
cool art direction.


You'll learn much about
Gilbert and Sullivan from
this long funny film.

Toy Story 2

Good graphics, dull songs,
clever script, fun adventure.
A worthy sequel.

The Virgin Suicides

Well done downer film.
Seventies nostalgia meets
serious teen angst.

Treed Murray

Murray in the tree
Sharks are watching a squirrel

    (guest review by Ianik Wright-Larin)


Cool submarine stuff!
Standard summer script, but this
film sucked me right in.


A good action film!
Allegorical subtext
and good kickass fun!

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